I have a friend named timmons who likes sex with pandas

See i got this friends and he has a problem. he bought a real live panda on ebay (actually he got it free with the 790th piece of vinyl he bought from iamindiedadnotlyin.com) except he thought it was a fake panda.

one dya instead of masturbating, he brought the vinyl out and discovered there was a tiny panda inside. so lol, he tried to nurse it, but heres the problem with timmz, he has 3 rather large man boobs. he knew the left one was pure indie, but the panda wasnt ready for that extreme of a taste, so he said, lets try the right knob, nope panda didnt like yacht rock either. so he gave it the middle manboob... yeah that one. the one thats sacred. and the panda started sucking.

everyday, timmons would do this. he would post on the internet, while the panda nursed on the middle nipple. its quite natural to type and have a suckling panda dangle from your 3rd nipple, he thought, but then the panda grew larger, and slowly but surely moved his way to the left nipple....

once panda got a taste of the indie he got big real fast... he chartered his way to england on a balloon to start his own hardcore record label. all the sudden panda was signing artists like the national, ryan adams, and bonnie raiit. this had to stop said timmonz....

TBC...

Before You Buy a 3G iPhone, Make sure it works in Your Coverage Area (See Maps).

With the not so impressive new iPhone ready to roll out on July 11th as announced today at the WWDC by Apple, Inc., you might want to make sure you get 3G coverage before actually buying it. That means, in order to "use 3G" you must be in a "3G" covered area by AT&T - or else you're going to have a newer version of the same old iPhone 1.0 with an even crappier plastic black or white back as opposed to brushed metal (hey there had to be some reason the phone got cheaper right?).

As stated in a press release by AT&T today, "The AT&T 3G / BroadbandConnect network is currently available in most major metropolitan areas and is expanding rapidly."

Its not so rapid as you think. Many major areas are lacking 3G and if you don't have it, you just dont have it, you'll be on the same old slow EDGE network.

And something else, using 3G will lower your battery's capacity by about 54%. That means if your talk time was 4 hours, its now going to be about 2 hours. Apple boasts great talking and data time, but they did the same thing when the 2nd gen iPod came out, in regards to battery.

Below is a complete city-by-city guide to where your 3G iPhone will work and where it won't. There are also maps to show you your 3G coverage area in blue-- and it is surprisngly small(and if you leave these areas, it won't work in...)

Alabama
Birmingham, Huntsville, Montgomery

Arizona
Chandler, Gilbert, Glendale, Mesa, Peoria, Phoenix, Scottsdale, Tempe, Tucson

Arkansas
Fayetteville, Fort Smith, Little Rock

California
Anaheim, Arden-Arcade, Bakersfield, Berkeley, Burbank, Chula Vista, Concord, Daly City, East Los Angeles, Escondido, Fairfield, Fremont, Fresno, Glendale, Hayward, Irvine, Lake Tahoe, Long Beach, Los Angeles, Modesto, Monterey, Norwalk, Oakland, Oceanside, Ontario, Oxnard, Pasadena, Pomona, Richmond, Roseville, Sacramento, San Diego, San Francisco, San Jose, Santa Ana, Santa Clara, Santa Rosa, Stockton, Sunnyvale, Vallejo

Colorado
Colorado Springs, Denver

Connecticut
Bridgeport, Hartford, New Haven, New London

Delaware
Wilmington

District of Columbia
Washington, DC

Florida
Cape Canaveral, Clearwater, Coral Springs, Daytona Beach, Fort Lauderdale, Fort Pierce, Gainesville, Hialeah, Hollywood, Jacksonville, Lakeland, Miami, Miramar, Orlando, Pembroke Pines, St. Petersburg, Southwest Florida, Tallahassee, Tampa, The Keys, West Palm Beach

Georgia
Athens, Atlanta, Columbus

Hawaii
Hawaii, Honolulu, Kauai, Maui

Idaho
Boise, Coeur d'Alene

Illinois
Bloomington, Chicago, Elgin, Joliet, Springfield,

Indiana
Gary, Indianapolis

Kansas
Kansas City, Olathe, Overland Park, Topeka

Kentucky
Lexington, Louisville

Louisiana
Baton Rouge, Metairie, New Orleans, Shreveport

Maryland
Baltimore

Massachusetts
Boston, Cambridge, Hyannis, Lowell, Springfield, Worcester

Michigan
Clinton, Detroit, Flint, Grand Rapids, Livonia, Sterling Heights, Warren

Minnesota
Minneapolis, Rochester, St. Cloud

Mississippi
Jackson

Missouri
Columbia, Independence, Jefferson City, Kansas City, Springfield, St. Louis

Nevada
Carson City, Henderson, Las Vegas, North Las Vegas, Paradise, Reno, Spring Valley, Sunrise Manor

New Jersey
Atlantic City, Elizabeth, Jersey City, Long Branch, Newark, New Brunswick, Ocean County, Trenton

New Mexico
Albuquerque

New York
Albany, Buffalo, Ithaca, Hamptons, New York, Rochester, Syracuse, Watertown

North Carolina
Cary, Charlotte, Durham, Fayetteville, Greensboro, Jacksonville, Raleigh, Winston-Salem

Ohio
Akron, Cincinnati, Cleveland, Columbus, Dayton, Toledo

Oklahoma
Oklahoma City, Tulsa

Oregon
Eugene, Medford, Portland, Salem

Pennsylvania
Allentown, Harrisburg, Northeast-Scranton, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Reading, State College

Puerto Rico
Bayamon, Carolina, San Juan

Rhode Island
Providence

South Carolina
Charleston, Columbia, Greenville

Tennessee
Knoxville, Memphis, Nashville

Texas
Arlington, Austin, Beaumont, Bryan, College Station, Carrollton, Corpus Christi, Dallas, Fort Worth, Garland, Grand Prairie, Houston, Irving, Longview, Marshall, McAllen, Mesquite, Pasadena, Plano, Richardson, San Antonio, Tyler, Victoria, Waco

Utah
Provo, Salt Lake City, West Valley

Virginia
Alexandria, Arlington, Newport News, Norfolk, Richmond

Washington
Bellevue, Bellingham, Mount Vernon, Olympia, Seattle, Spokane, Tacoma, Vancouver

Wisconsin
Madison, Milwaukee

For more details visit: http://www.wireless.att.com/coverageviewer/popUp_3g.jsp

3G iPhone Patent App Surfaces: IM, Blogging App, Vid Conf

The US Patent and Trademark Office has recently published an extensive patent application, seemingly for the 3G iPhone and software version 2.0, both now expected to be released next Monday. Features detailed: IM and blogging applications, Video Conferencing (with front-facing camera), etc.

read more | digg story

Spelling Bee Blooper

This spelling bee contestant is taken a bit by surprise when he hears his word for the first time.

read more | digg story

The Death of MP3 by the Hand of MT9/Music 2.0

A revolutionary new digital music format called MT9 has been developed by the Electronics and Telecommunications Research Institute (ETRI) and marketed by the South Korean company, Audizen. Labeled as Music 2.0 -
http://www.audizen.co.kr/solutions/solutions2.htm

The new format has six audio channels that can be individually controlled; the six channels are, vocals, chorus, guitar, piano, base and drum. If for example you are listening to a music track encoded in the new format and hate the vocals then you can turn them off and continue to listen to just the music.

In theory the new digital music format has great potential for use in several areas of music, like creating mashups, and karaoke. Audizen is hopeful that the MT9 format will one day even replace the mighty MP3 as the de-facto standard.

The fact that the MP3 file format reigns supreme in the music market is not news. Despite having its position constantly "attacked" by additional formats such as AIFF, AAC, WMA and so on, nothing has changed so far. However, a new star on the firmament looks like posing a serious threat to the MP3 for the very first time – MT9.

MT9 comes from the Korean company Audizen and, as far as the preliminary specs announce it, it looks like taking things to a completely new level. As a matter of fact, the MT9 is the short,

"file format-approved" name for the Music 2.0 standard, promising a completely new experience with your fav tracks and a dramatically changed approach to the audio multimedia experience overall.

If we were to detail a bit what's with the MT9, the best explanation would start with "Multi Track" phrase: the Music 2.0 is all about a multi-track version of a song, providing the user with access to these tracks, yet without altering the original song.

In simpler words, the MT9 could be regarded as a hyper-professional and high-tech karaoke-ready file format, but one that also allows the listener to cut off any of the existing tracks. Now, imagine the possibilities that come with such a neat thing, with all singers and especially other instrument players being able to jam along to their fav songs but without over-lapping their performance on the other artists'.

The idea is nothing new though, as "bandoke" (a version of karaoke where some of the instruments were missing, instead of the vocal track) has been invented more than 20 years ago and was made popular by tracks of important heavy metal bands such as Iron Maiden. The novelty comes from the fact that MT9 runs with a six-channel audio equalizer, with each channel being engineered for voice, chorus, piano, guitar, bass and drums. You can access any of them and run the MT9 as a karaoke or a bandoke, as you wish.

And as if all this was not enough, the albums you're going to buy in the MT9 format are DRM-free (what's up, RIAA?) so you can use them as a CD or cassette tape that you can lend to your friends and so on. Several patents have already been applied and some more will follow as Audizen is trying to make the Music 2.0/ MT9 an international audio standard as well, to provide a really neat competition with the existing ones. So far, Samsung and LG Electronics have shown a vivid interest in MT9 and all things related to it, so we can actually assume that something has really changed in the audio file formats war. Once more, DRM-free!

iPhone Icon Reveals 3G iPhone Design?

Left: original iPhone, Right: new iPhone?Forum user mrat93 found an interesting image of the iPhone in a file called "iPhone.icns" that accompanies the iPhone SDK. Amongst the icons, one photo of the iPhone appears different than the others. It has been zoomed in and set alongside the usual ...

read more | digg story

Butch Taylor leaves the Dave Matthews Band

As reported today by the Dave Matthews Band website www.dmband.com, the unofficial 6th member, keyboardist Butch Taylor, has decided to leave the Dave Matthews Band after 10+ years.

Although it is unclear why Butch has left the band, close sources speculate the constant touring to have taken its toll and with a new family member, Butch has decided to put family first.

As quoted from dmband.com: "We are saddened by this sudden news but he has our full support. He’s given so much to us and our audience through the years and he will be missed."

Highlights of songs he will be missed on include: Two Step, Lie in our Graves and most noticeably Rapunzel, the debut song which made Butch a favorite with fans.

In place of keyboardist Butch Taylor, Dave Matthews Band Summer Tour will include good and long-time friend guitarist, Tim Reynolds for every date of the tour.